Letting go…..we start by letting go of the warm, watery safety of the womb, dragged kicking and screaming into the lights-camera-action of the wide world, then spend our lives grasping and releasing, clutching and throwing, pulling close and pushing away. We can measure decades by the push me-pull you of our desires (who remembers the Push Me-Pull You of Dr. Doolittle fame?),
the herky jerky process of keeping and tossing. When we’re wise, we abandon what can bring us harm, and cradle lovingly that which is for our highest good. Other times, well…..not so much.
Sometimes letting go carries the whiff of failure. Last week I sold my spinning wheel. I’ve never been more than a remedial spinner, and I don’t handle being less than competent at something very well. The wheel sat idle for almost two years; I blamed Pip (how do I dare spin when she views knitting as the ultimate sign of playtime?!), but the truth of the matter is that I never became proficient enough to relax and enjoy it. Every time I tried and failed embarrassingly, miserably, it lost more luster. I turned my attention to other woolly pursuits and gave up. If you love something, set it free….so I set the wheel free and she is now in the hands and home of a new spinner. I wish them both well, but there’s just a hint of shame in abandoning it. You know what I mean???
‘Tis the season of letting go….can you feel it? Even on this sweltering day so quintessentially summer, you can feel it slipping away. The chickens head to their coop before 8:00 now. Swallows are migrating while titmice and bluejays are re-emerging from the woods. Twice this week I’ve seen geese on the move, and a flock of turkeys stared at me as I drove up our road yesterday after work. Goldenrod is in bloom and the sunlight is softening, shifting, a little more gilded now. Although never sorry to see summer move on, this year I’m not in a rush. Where did summer go? There’s so much not yet done, brussels sprouts to transplant, shrubs and wildflower seeds to plant, sauce to make, grapes to harvest….
Maybe the vague unease I feel is Time letting go…..Time hitching a ride on a passing Perseids meteor shower fragment and leaving only a momentary glowing trail, and me, behind.